Swine flu. Run for my life!
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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