I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
