tell your sister to shave her snatch
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
