Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
