sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Randomize
