No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Randomize
