Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
