that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
