He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
