Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
