he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I need to calm my uterus...
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
