there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
