You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Randomize
