I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Randomize
