Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
