it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
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