Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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