I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
