I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
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