Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
After last night, I could never be a politician.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
