I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Randomize
