i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
