id be glad to
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
