no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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