I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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