I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
