it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
