chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
