Nicole vs. Life
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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