if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
