The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
