He is such a slut. More and more my type.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
