I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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