Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
