We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
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