Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
