Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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