I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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