the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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