I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
