I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
