do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
