How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
