whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Randomize
