drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
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