hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Randomize
