This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
