I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
