i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
