We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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