been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
