We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Randomize
